I Don't Expect My Parents to Set Me Up With Millions When They Die. I Want Them to Enjoy Every Penny They Worked For

I Don't Expect My Parents to Set Me Up With Millions When They Die. I Want Them to Enjoy Every Penny They Worked For

Adrian Volenik

Thu, August 27, 2026 at 6:15 PM GMT+3 6 min read

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A Gen Xer knows there will probably be money left when their parents die. They just wish their parents would spend it first.

"I would rather have them spend every penny before they die to enjoy what they built," they wrote in a recent r/MiddleClassFinance discussion about inheritance.

The poster, who was born in the 1970s and grew up in a middle-class household with one working parent and one staying home with the kids, said they have always viewed adulthood as the point when parents stop being financially responsible for their children.

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"Your parents shouldn't have to set you up with millions when they die," they wrote. "If you don't make good choices, that's on you."

'Inheritance Is Not a Retirement Plan'

What bothered the poster was seeing people calculate how much they will receive when their parents die. "Why do people act like their parents have to set them up for retirement?" they asked.

Plenty of commenters shared the underlying philosophy, even when they weren't as convinced the behavior was widespread.

One person who expects a sizable inheritance said they budget and invest as though they will receive nothing. Their reasoning was practical: "Anything could happen, end of life care could be expensive for my parent, stock market could tank, maybe they change their mind and leave it all to charity."

"Inheritance is not a retirement plan," another person put it more succinctly.

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That approach also means building wealth independently while parents are still around to enjoy theirs. For people interested in real estate, that doesn't necessarily mean saving enough to buy an entire rental property. Arrived allows investors to buy fractional shares of professionally selected rental properties, with investments starting at $100. The company handles tenants, maintenance and other property management while investors can potentially receive monthly dividends and benefit if properties appreciate over time.

The uncertainty surrounding inheritance became especially clear when commenters started talking about aging parents. One said their father's memory care costs more than $10,000 a month. Others described watching dementia, assisted living and medical expenses consume savings that once looked like future inheritances.

"I'm happy he died with zero," one commenter whose father recently died with just $100 remaining in his checking account wrote. "Well played old man."

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Inheritance Gets Complicated When Caregiving Enters the Picture

Still, many thought the original argument missed an important part of the story.

Adult children sometimes spend years caring for aging parents, cutting work hours or stepping away from careers entirely. One commenter described a woman who had spent eight years caring for her parents and sacrificed her ability to build a career during that time.

Another called caregiving a financial drain that can derail someone's life, arguing that in those cases inheritances represent compensation for years of sacrificed income and opportunities.

Others challenged the idea that passing wealth between generations is inherently a handout. Some parents said they actively want to leave money to their children because helping the next generation is part of what they worked for.

"I don't feel like I owe my kids an inheritance, but I would sure like to leave them a nice big one," one commenter wrote.

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